New Balance Re-launches the Ugliest Shoes in History

By Billy The Kid / Kicks | Lids / 20th December 2016

New Balance has really come a long way since being the notorious makers of “the dad shoe”. In the last couple years they’ve changed their style and put out some pretty gangster kicks.

But they’ve got us worried that it could all be about to fall apart. It’s as if they’e gone into full panic mode since they made the 2nd dumbest move of the year and pledged their support for Trump, resulting in thousands of sneakerheads burning their NB shoes online.

It gets worse though.

At a point when they needed to rally the troops, fire their whole marketing team and drag themselves back into sneaker heads hearts; they decided to do the opposite and relaunch 100 limited edition pairs of the New Balance 990 “Varsity Weekends” AKA the shoe of choice of 50 year old men who say “buddy” a lot and can often be heard asking the ref if “he’s watching the same game out here.”

Come on New Balance, I literally watched kids who wore the 990’s on casual Fridays being subjected to some of the worst forms of playground bullying I’ve ever seen. Don’t bring up those memories – not so close to Christmas.

Also – if you see any hipsters out and about, wearing these shoes, please could you severely injure them. Feel free to send Halfway Crooks the medical bill.


A Halfway Crook

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